When Growth Stalls: How to Lead with Compassion When Clients or Team Members Resist Change
- Sara Lowell
- 16 hours ago
- 3 min read
As leaders, we’ve all faced the moment when someone we’re guiding (whether a client or a team member) hits a wall. You’ve poured in your energy, built out systems, and provided encouragement, but no matter what you do, they don’t seem to be moving forward. It’s frustrating. It’s disheartening. And it can make you question whether you’re doing something wrong.
But here’s the truth: growth is not a straight line, and resistance is not always a sign of laziness or disinterest. More often than not, resistance comes from fear.
The Fear Behind Resistance
When people resist change, it usually isn’t because they don’t care, it’s because they’re afraid. Afraid of failing, afraid of looking foolish, afraid of stepping outside of what feels safe. Understanding this doesn’t erase the frustration, but it does reframe it.
As leaders, our job is to recognize the difference between someone who is stuck but still willing, and someone who is stuck and resistant.
Stuck but Willing vs. Stuck and Resistant
This distinction matters. A person who is stuck but willing may just need more support, clearer steps, or reassurance that failure is part of the process. These people thrive when leaders create a safe space for trial and error.
On the other hand, someone who is stuck and resistant may refuse to engage no matter what resources or encouragement you provide. In these situations, continuing to push only drains you and stalls the larger mission. Part of leadership is knowing when it’s time to let go.
Seven Compassionate Strategies for Leading Through Resistance
So, what can leaders do when growth stalls? Here are seven strategies discussed in our recent conversation:
Acknowledge the fear – Normalize the discomfort that comes with growth. Naming the fear often takes away its power.
Create psychological safety – Make it clear that mistakes are part of learning, not proof of incompetence.
Model curiosity – Show your own willingness to ask questions and explore new approaches.
Break growth into smaller steps – Overwhelm kills' progress. Smaller, manageable actions build confidence.
Encourage reflection – Help people see how far they’ve already come and what’s working.
Stay patient but set boundaries – Support doesn’t mean enabling. Progress must remain a shared responsibility.
Know when to part ways – Sometimes the most compassionate choice is stepping back when someone refuses to move forward.
Leading with Both Empathy and Accountability
Compassionate leadership isn’t about rescuing people from their own resistance. It’s about meeting them where they are, supporting their willingness to grow, and setting clear expectations when growth isn’t happening.
When you can strike that balance between empathy and accountability, you not only help others evolve, but you also protect your own energy and vision as a leader.
FAQs About Leading Through Resistance
How do I know if someone is truly unwilling to grow versus just scared? Look for effort. If the person is showing up, asking questions, or trying even in small ways, they’re likely scared but willing. If they consistently avoid tasks, dismiss feedback, or resist every suggestion, they may be unwilling to grow.
What should I do if my team member keeps missing deadlines because they’re “not ready”? Set clear expectations. Acknowledge their feelings but also communicate that deadlines are non-negotiable. Offer smaller steps or extra support but hold them accountable for follow-through.
How can I encourage growth without micromanaging? Shift from telling to asking. Use open-ended questions like, “What’s one step you feel confident taking next?” This builds ownership while keeping them accountable for their own development.
When is it time to let a client or team member go? If you’ve offered support, broken tasks into smaller steps, and clarified expectations but they continue to resist, holding onto them may drain more energy than it’s worth. At that point, it’s often healthier for both sides to part ways.
How do I keep myself motivated when I feel drained by resistant people? Remember your role as a leader is to guide, not carry. Protect your energy by setting boundaries, focusing on the people who are growing, and reminding yourself that not everyone is ready for change and that’s not a reflection of your worth or leadership.
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